Rumor has it that when Caesar triumphed in his Gallic campaign, his soldiers sang, “Caesar may have conquered the Gauls, but Nicomedes conquered Caesar.” In ancient Rome, homosexuality among the patrician and powerful was widely accepted, but a passive role in any sexual liaison was viewed as a sign of weakness and inferiority. This means that it wasn’t the possibility of Caesar with another man that made him the object of vitriolic gossip and ridicule among his underlings and peers, rather the rumor that he was a bottom. True or false, the politicians back in Rome ran with the rumor and initiated a mud-slinging campaign against Caesar, dubbing him “Queen of Bithynia”, a clear reference to the top role of his alleged lover, Nicomedes IV, King of Bithynia. O Deus meus! That is SO "Pagina VI"!

It's the same old story: dictator meets queen; queen seduces dictator; they produce bastard heir.
Although Cleopatra looked nothing like Elizabeth Taylor circa 1963, she did have enough charm and wit to bend the most powerful men to her will, and never disdained the use of ploys to enchant her preys, such as rolling out of Persian carpets and... whatnot. During

Antony was very tall, dark and handsome, while Cleopatra was very short, dark and skinny. Together, they must have looked like Tony Parker & Eva Longoria. Aside from a strong sexual chemistry, the duo shared a mortal enemy: Octavian, the future first emperor of Rome. Ambitious Antony felt that he should have been Caesar’s successor, not Octavian, while Cleopatra felt that her own child from Caesar (Caesarion) was the only possible legitimate heir. Though politics and power fueled their passionate affair, Antony ultimately fell in love with the queen and even married her in an Egyptian ceremony, his standing marriage to

Don’t be fooled by Hollywood’s claims of brotherly love; Achilles and Patroclus were definitely lovers. The only thing that remains unclear is whether their relationship was 100% egalitarian or pederastic. Since Patroclus was Achilles’ younger cousin, we’re going to go with pederastic. Oh yeah, right, they were also cousins—first cousins, to be exact—which would make their bond not just homosexual and pederastic, bu also incestuous. Seriously, who needs soap operas when you can read Homer and

Although the bone of contention had a lot to do with sex, the Trojan war did not happen over a box of condoms. Legend has it, the moment Paris of Troy laid eyes on beautiful Helen of Sparta, he was fucked, literally and otherwise. Helen was the young, sexy wife of King Menelaus. When she and Paris eloped off to Troy, Menelaus launched a want-my-bitch-back campaign of epic proportions (see Homer’s Iliad).